I tried to keep them small things this time.

• Read 7 books. Cut down the amount drastically, because I never reach the original reading goals I’ve set anyway.
• Clean out closet or my side of the room. One or the other, because I don’t think I can do both.
• Update resume. I think I need a letterhead.
• Make business card. Because it’s kind of embarrassing that I still don’t have one.
• Earn at least (privately disclosed amount). Steps toward my end-of-the-year goal.
• Figure out specifications for Codeword: White. Scary deadlines approaching!
• Finally sort out mail that’s going out. Because it’s just gross that I still haven’t.
• Retrieve cameras from repair shop.
• Watercolor once a week! So I can get better at it. I forced my dad to teach me, see.
• Write (an outline of) a short story. Just because I think I need to do it now, or else I might forget how to.

For real now. I think sometimes I forget that I am twenty-three, have been done with college for over two years, and am trying to carve out a decent life for myself. If I remembered that more often, maybe I would quit living like it’s summer vacation for me, too.

Anyway, fingers crossed. I’m going to get rid of all of these lazy bones and follow through this time.

February was absolutely horrible for this Goals project of mine. I don’t think I got anything done from that list. However, maybe it’s a sign that I need to revise and re-evaluate what my goal-making scheme is of late (which, to tell you the truth has been No Scheme).

Anyway, here’s what I’ve come up for March. I think, as much as I want to do eleven million things each month, I need to concentrate on just a few key priorities.

• Solid idea or concept for June show
      — at least 3 pieces done
      — PR and invite stuff done
• Read 7 books
• Learn a new recipe a week (0/4)
• Monitor expenses better (i.e. rigid, detailed accounting)
• Spring cleaning
• Write one short story

Anyway, I think I’m up for it this time.

I think there’s this inexplicable void and angst attached to going to art school elsewhere, only because my own BFA experience left a lot to be desired. But that’s another story.

My only resolve really is to get better and to learn how to save. Honestly, I think I’m getting better at saving, so that’s good. I’m so far behind my financial goal, but I think panicking will make it worse, so I’m trying not to panic about money. That’s the worst thing to do. And, of course, blowing your cash the minute you get it. I remember finding out when I was younger that it is not a norm for kids my age to have their own savings accounts. (I thank my parents for planning for our financial future and habits, and for thinking ahead.)

Anyway, I’m just going to power through, I suppose. And build my body of work. Here’s my “collection” of work, so far:
 

http://carina-santos.com/

Not very impressive at the moment, but I think I’ll get there. I just have to spend time really evaluating my work. It’s so hard, because it’s something that’s close to my heart (and ego), but I know that unearthing the flaws and weak points in my work will eventually lead to a stronger style and better expression.

Anyway, just some weird life and future thoughts on a Saturday morning. The Field Notes giveaway will end tomorrow, by the way. Better get your last minute entries in!

I have successfully accomplished 4 out of 10 January Goals, which seems pretty pitiful, I guess.

Here are my February goals, with some of January’s goals carried over:

• Read 7 books
• Exercise 3 times a week
• Save 50% of paycheck
• Revive Maybe Very Happy
• Organization
        — Workspace
        — Room (Spring Cleaning)
• Start working on an exhibit for June
• Do branding for shop
• Work on online portfolio (Funnily enough, I did this in January)
        — Design business cards. Print them.
• Get better at film photography
        — Get the Nikon FM-2 fixed

I like doing monthly goals because I get to fine-tune my “progress” during the year. I know it’s kind of a dorky thing to do, but I like having a way to steer me towards the person I want to be. Or at least, some kind of accountability for my own goals.

This year, I have decided not to make any resolutions, partly because I don’t follow them anyway. Rather, I thought about what my 2011 had been and thought about what I had learned and experienced, and how I could make my 2012 better. So, instead, I have GOALS.

My head is a muddle right now, so I don’t feel very comfortable sharing my big, long-term goals. I also believe in keeping some things secrets for the time being. Anyway, I’m copying an LJ friend who had been doing a monthly goals type of thing for a few years now.

Doing Monthly Goals instead of Yearly Resolutions is helpful because it gives you a chance to review your progress more closely and also to regroup after each month. Big, yearly resolutions are harder to keep track of, but I think it’s good to have overarching goals each year, to kind of direct you towards specific choices. Arriane actually does annual thematic overhauls, which I think is super interesting, but a little intimidating and overwhelming for a first timer like me. Maybe next year.

As for myself, here are my JANUARY GOALS:

• Read 7 books.
• Go on the treadmill at least 3 times a week. (I’ll explain later.)
• Get two big projects. YAY.
• Work six hours a day, five days a week. (Or a total of thirty hours a week.)
• Save 50% of each paycheck.
• Write down all expenses. Begin accounting.
• Mail out all pending packages.
• Fix/fine-tune Recovery.
• Writing project with Liana.
• Maybe revive Maybe Very Happy.

WHY TWELVE? Honestly, I picked the number at random. It seems like a good number—not too many, not too few—to start with. Just like your donuts and your eggs, changes in one’s life might as well come in dozens!

HOW WILL IT WORK? I’m going to list some things I want to do that I feel will greatly improve my life. Each one of them will be accompanied by a rationale as to why they’re part of the list, and each should be feasible (because I don’t want to set myself up for a fall). They will not be too hard, but they will also not be too easy. I will try to tie this in with a project I’ve always wanted to do, but never pushed through with, Mission 101.

WHY ARE YOU SHARING THIS ON THE INTERNET? DON’T YOU THINK YOU’VE EMBARRASSED YOURSELF ENOUGH? I find that while this might border on oversharing, the Internet is a great avenue for a) accountability, and b) encouragement (for myself and for other people who might stumble across this little challenge). Plus, it’s automatic documentation for when I feel down and out and want to be reminded why I am doing this in the first place.

Also, this is my blog, I do what I like~

WHAT ARE THE THINGS ON YOUR LIST? I have not come up with the list yet, but here are some things I’ve been thinking about:

1. NEW ROOM (SORTA) — by which, I just mean: clean it
2. NEW MODE OF TRANSPORTATION — by which, I mean: learn how to drive
3. NEW LIFE SKILL — some ideas: how to change a flat tire, how to install a light bulb, etc.
4. NEW ADVENTURE — by which, I mean: go somewhere in the Philippines I’ve never been to before, and then write about it
5. NEW FRIEND — by which, I mean: diet and exercise. …yes, the friend in question is my body. Is that lame? I don’t know anymore.
6. NEW RESTRAINTS — by which, I mean: budget plan and savings. That I will actually follow.
7. NEW DIRECTIONS – by which, I mean: make more things (always, all ways).
8. NEW PACKAGING – by which, I mean: fixing up my portfolio
9. NEW LANGUAGE – by which, I mean: finally learn parseltongue French
10. NEW ROOTS – by which, I mean: look for opportunities in other places
11. NEW CREATIVE SKILL – by which, I mean: learn an instrument, or how to draw properly, or how to use a different sort of paint, or sew, or what-have-you
12. NEW BRAIN JUICE – by which, I mean: read more

Not a final list, and obviously some will be hard to keep track off because they are supposed to be habitual, but I think this is a pretty well-rounded list. What do you think? Do some sound stupid or unnecessary?

In any case, each time I embark on a goal, I will explain why it is there and how it will help me.

DO YOU HAVE A DEADLINE? Not a concrete one. I’d like to think of this as an ongoing process, really. Ideally, though, I finish these things as soon as possible, so I don’t feel as useless as I do. Fingers crossed for me?

I guess the main point of this challenge, really, is to just extend myself, because I don’t feel like I have been doing that enough. I am honest and upfront about what I feel like are my failings, but I think it’s about time I followed through.

And I suppose this is an attempt at doing just that.

———

What areas in your life do you feel like you can improve on?