I’ve always loved making mixes. Some are really hard to do, this one came to me pretty easily. (Funny how the title seems to hint at something completely the opposite.) I nearly broke my weird rule (about adding more than one song by an artist) but I prevailed, and it turned out pretty OK.

Here’s the tracklist:

1. “Ask” by The Smiths
2. “Slow Hands” by Interpol
3. “Tulips” by Bloc Party
4. “Do You Remember?” by Ra Ra Riot
5. “Run” by Vampire Weekend
6. “Whiskey” by Voxtrot
7. “Futile Devices” by Sufjan Stevens
8. “Ghosting” by Freelance Whales
9. “Say Yes” by Elliott Smith
10. “I Found a Reason” by Cat Power (The Velvet Underground cover)
11. “Call Me On Your Way Back Home” by Ryan Adams
12. “Slow Show” by The National
13. “The Wind” by Cat Stevens
14. “Maps” by Arcade Fire (Yeah Yeah Yeahs cover)
15. “Wait” by Death Cab For Cutie (Secret Stars cover)
16. “Sa Madaling Salita” by Ang Bandang Shirley

There’s a story in there somewhere.

Download here.

Or, How I Learned How To Stop Worrying And Love The Fact That Spent Half My Monthly Paycheck To Go See Ezra Koenig.

I’ve been putting off writing this entry for a while. Partly because I am denial that the day I had been waiting for for a few months now is finally over. This was some far-off point in time that I kept reminding myself about whenever things got a little rough. It was something to look forward to, and now, it’s become something to look back at.

I know people write Vampire Weekend off as hipster shit, seeming to lack longevity in the music scene. Even more people think that they are just pretentious hacks, because they all went to Columbia, and write about sons of diplomats, exotic milky drinks, cultural obscurities, and punctuation marks with specific uses. But I love them. A lot. I loved them enough to do something I had never really done, which was to quite literally go the distance.

(Plus, I don’t think anyone else can write about the subtleties of difference between the flavors of English Breakfast and Darjeeling tea quite like they do.)

I know Singapore isn’t really that far away from Manila, and I suppose that’s why I decided to fly out in the first place. It was, to me, a glimmering opportunity to live out a dream that was always too far away to grasp. My favorite bands seem to like skipping out on Manila on tours, sometimes even skipping out on Asia altogether (The National, I am looking at you JK, they just literally posted a date for Tokyo. YOU MUST COME TO MANILA), so this was such a tempting situation that I voluntarily got myself into. And it was frakking worth it.

I still get chills and a jolt in my heart whenever I think about how I actually saw them play. I know that when you lay it out, it really doesn’t make any sense. “What’s the big deal?” you are probably asking yourself, but I really don’t know how to explain it. How do I explain that I can probably live off this post-concert high until the end of the year? How do I concretely prove to you that seeing them play songs I’ve looped endlessly and sang along with in showers and hummed and shared with girls I wanted to be friends with and put on mixes for boys I like-liked gave me such a rare and pure sense of joy and excitement?

For more than half the show, I was holding on to my camera, trying to capture the entire thing, trying to pixelize my proof: “I was there, and this is what I felt,” I wanted to be able to say. But then I realized that I don’t need to prove anything to anyone. Certainly not my feelings. Certainly not my “religious experience,” the real fun and joy I felt, seeing one of my favorite bands up there, sharing what must be this tiny little thing to them with their fans, whose lives are probably changing, even for just a little bit, for just a little while.

My friend, Jamie, is one of the biggest Vampire Weekend fans I know. This is one of the many things that we share with each other—along with a Boy Band That Must Not Be Named, Dunkin Donuts coffee, and a Harry Potter ‘ship—something foundational to our friendship, if you will. I consider her one of my good friends, even though she lives in Oahu and even though we’ve never met. I can count on her to “get” me when I talk about things like this. I can count on her to “get” it and understand that I mean it when I say that seeing this show meant the world to me, how it counts as one of the greatest days of my life. Even though I was rows upon rows of people away. Even though I lost my phone. Even though I have a burning hole in my pocket from paying for the trip. Even though I am now in danger of being fired, since I wasn’t able to do much work while I was away (and because I didn’t really tell anybody).

I know Jamie gets it, and I know some of you might, too. And now, without further ado and without (much) further rambling, here’s the proper concert update that some people have been waiting for.

Vampire Weekend’s setlist. I made an iTunes playlist because that is how I sometimes roll. The last three are the ones from their encore. My brother said Ezra referred to “Walcott” as “Cape Cod,” though I cannot confirm nor deny these allegations, as I was too busy ogling his lovely face.

Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa, aka one of my favorite songs of theirs.
It reminds me of some of the nicest things is why.

Rostam!

Ezra & Chris T.

This was during “Cousins.” I can tell because of the lights,
which by the way were really awesome, appropriate, and properly-timed.
We really might as well have been watching a light show. I was so impressed.

Guh. So precious.

Ezra, Chris T., and Chris B.

Love you forever~

More photos under the cut. I think you will be able to tell who the (obvious) favorite is, but I just want to say, for the record, I love all of them a lot. Continue reading Vampire Weekend on a Weekday….

It’s kind of a story-telling, I guess. Tracklist:

1. Krafty • New Order
2. After Hours • We Are Scientists
3. Thank You Mario But Our Princess Is In Another Castle • The Mountain Goats and Kaki King
4. Sometimes • My Bloody Valentine
5. This is the Dream of Win and Regine • Final Fantasy (Owen Pallett)
6. You and I • Wilco
7. You’ve Really Got a Hold on Me • Smokey Robinson & the Miracles
8. I’ll Do Whatever You Want • Memphis
9. A Hiccup in Your Happiness • The Lucksmiths
10. English Girls Approximately • Ryan Adams
11. Most of the Time • Bob Dylan
12. Rose Parade • Elliott Smith
13. Wet and Rusting • Menomena
14. Sleep All Summer • St. Vincent and The National
    (Crooked Fingers cover)
15. Sparks • Coldplay
16. I Think Ur A Contra • Vampire Weekend
17. The Ice Is Getting Thinner • Death Cab for Cutie
18. Start A War • The National

Download the .zip here.

Continue reading MIX: A Slow Regression Into a Quiet Retreat…

So, I was thinking of what sort of mix to make for this month’s New Slang theme, and I was thinking of maybe making one on how much some people (i.e. me) suck at intimacy. But that’s another story. (Which I actually wrote! Read: Awkward Only Looks Good On Paulie Bleeker.) This didn’t reach the cut-off deadline, so I’m posting this here.

For all the excuses you’ve ever made, and the persistent tug of the idea of being with somebody you (kinda) like, and the lovely newness of things when you finally give in. About possibility, and saying yes, despite the doubts and the terrifying weight of the past and the probable future.

Under the cut: A list of the sentiments, arranged according to track. I’d like to think the list is some sort of progression, but it’s actually made of wibbly-wobbly, timey wimey stuff, so you can rearrange as you please.

(from John Green’s “An Abundance of Katherines.”)

Download .zip here

Continue reading MIX: The Poem I Might Write Someday…

I made a mix last night, which will hopefully close off the first installment of “The Pleasure of Leaving,” which was posted here a few weeks ago. This one is called The Pleasure of Leaving (Part Two), if you hadn’t guessed. Continue reading SHORT-ISH MIX: The Pleasure of Leaving (Part Two)…

I wrote parts of this on a moving train. I was trying to fix my life (with lists and crap like that), but then I couldn’t because my favorite band had just broken up & it felt like part of the whole world died.

The first Voxtrot song I remember hearing was “Trouble.” It was part of their self-titled album, released in 2007, way after their EPs and demos were celebrated all over the internet. I was never part of the internet hype around these guys, and although I would love to start this story with how I’d discovered Voxtrot among the internet clutter, like a 21st Century Columbus, stumbling on America by accident, my brother just gave me a few songs, and I gave them a few listens and that was that.

The first Voxtrot song I ever heard turned out to be “The Start of Something,” and I can prove it with archival evidence from Last.fm. It was April 2, 2007, and my life didn’t change. The world did not stop, like it did when I first listened — really listened — to The National’s Boxer. There was no out-of-body epiphanic awakening, as though I’d been waiting for this particular moment, this particular connection with Voxtrot, all my life. I don’t remember how I arrived at the knowledge that Voxtrot is my favorite band, or how I’d made the declaration. There just came a point in my life that I knew this was a different kind of love, of familiarity, of affinity, and I am so glad that I recognized it. (“The Start of Something” is now, and has been for a while, my favorite song.)

I’ve never really had a “favorite” band, just a couple of artists whose songs I liked. People had The Beatles, Deftones, Brand New, Death Cab for Cutie, The Lucksmiths, Eraserheads. My brother had My Morning Jacket and my sister had Frank Sinatra. I had a handful of emo bands whose middle-class angst just felt good to scream along to. I had that, until I found Voxtrot. It sounds way too dramatic, but I really can’t explain how it feels when I listen to them. I like seeing the world from the music that they write. My chest feels like exploding in agreement more often than it feels comfortable, when I listen to them, because yes yes yes yes yes, you guys frakking nailed it again.

There is an elegance, an eloquence, a certain maturity and at the same time, a certain innocence present in Raised By Wolves, which is the first EP they released in 2005. They sounded fresh, earnest and everything just seemed to flow out so perfectly and so effortlessly. I don’t know what happened along the way, but towards the end, this end, it seemed like they grew disenchanted and resentful and tired. I have no way of knowing, but that’s just what it feels like to me.

I still love them and it makes me sad and heartbroken, that it’s going to come down to this. In many ways, it still doesn’t make sense to me, but even though it’s hard to admit, I know that they’re doing what they feel is best. Living in the Philippines has conditioned me towards not hoping to see any of my favorite artists play my favorite songs live. The unfairness of it all is stark and clear in my head. No one important to me ever goes here, and it’s unfair and unideal that I probably can’t ever see them or partake in that fellowship that is so special to fans who convene to celebrate something that is dear to their heart. Just because I live thousand of miles away.

Voxtrot’s last and final tour is called Goodbye, Cruel World, and I’m likely not going to be able to see it, because I live exactly twelve hours away, time-zone-wise. But I truly, truly hope that whoever gets to watch can show them that the world isn’t really cruel, and this isn’t really goodbye.

from Ramesh Srivastava’s good-bye post:

For me, the most important thing in life is leaving behind something beautiful, something that finds its way into the lives of strangers, and forever alters them in a positive manner. Sometimes, being able to do this means that you have to work the shitty job and serve bread to rich idiots, but whatever, it’s better than just cashing in your chips and spending the rest of your life wondering, “what if…?”

In the end, I’ve come to realize that there really isn’t any cause for disappointment. The fact is, the songs still exist, and the music of Voxtrot lives on as a sovereign entity which, outside of all criticism, positive or negative, belongs to the guys and me, and to everybody who ever loved it or believed. Taking into account every person I’ve met, every place I have visited, every emotional exchange I have ever had with a listener, there is absolutely no room for regret.

I don’t think I can hold these reasons against somebody, so I’m not going to. There isn’t enough room, and aren’t enough words to fully convey how big a part of me Voxtrot is, and how sad I am to see them go their separate ways, so I suppose this is the end for now. I hope you guys find something new and beautiful, and that you share them with the world, no matter how cruel or terrifying it seems to be.

There is absolutely no room for regret.