If you remember, I blogged about The Grim Repat a few months ago (read over here), and I still mean it when I say that a lot of thought goes into Mara’s videos. Tomorrow, it’s a full production for the New Year’s episode, and having seen just a peek of the entire process has left me pretty speechless.

(It’s way funner to watch the video, but—) Come over and wear a one-color shirt (that is not red or white) and be on time (11 am)! Stripes, small patterns, and rain are not welcome. Jackstones, pogs, and games are. More details over here, which you should read.

I am so excited for this.

Once upon a time, I didn’t really get The National. Those were very dark times.

A friend of a friend (hi Kaks! hi Kat!) said “Slow Show” was her favorite song. So, I listened to Boxer again—listened, this time, very carefully—and something life-changing happened.

There’s just no other way to describe it.

Maybe it’s all about timing, but on that second try, I fell in love, and I hurt, and then I fell in love again. Peter Silberman of The Antlers said:

“The National isn’t so much “a band” as it’s a piece of another person’s life that helps yours make sense.”

That’s exactly what it is, and I feel really lucky to have this, so I can fold it over and tuck in a space in my heart that’s probably in the shape of Ohio. It’s not just that Matt Berninger is so dreamy (he totally is, though), or that “Bloodbuzz Ohio” is so frakking catchy, or that Bryan looks a little bit like Jesus.

The National makes me feel at home. I know that’s corny and way overused, but it’s the only way I can ever describe this kind of closeness. There’s no possible way I can ever describe it in full, but to borrow something a stranger said about something else, The National “heal[s] every bit of you, even the ones you didn’t realize were hurting.”

When they canceled their Singapore show a few days before it was to happen, it was a devastating blow to the heart. I had been having a rough year, and it was the only thing I was looking forward to. I felt ripped open.

And then, suddenly, I had something to look forward to again.

They rescheduled their show for November 6, and they played an excellent set. It was their first Asian show, and I feel so full knowing that I was a part of it. A few of us had a bet as to what song they would open with. There was no opening act (which I’m thankful for) and they opened with “Runaway.” Only Chris got it right.

Here’s their setlist:

1. “Runaway”
2. “Anyone’s Ghost”
3. “Mistaken for Strangers”
4. “Bloodbuzz Ohio”
5. “Slow Show”
6. “Squalor Victoria”
7. “Afraid of Everyone”
8. “Conversation 16″
9. “Available” (with a little bit of “Cardinal Song”)
10. “Sorrow”
11. “Apartment Story”
12. “Abel”
13. “Daughters of the Soho Riots”
14. “England”
15. “Fake Empire”

One thing that I’m asked a lot is to describe The National’s music, and often, I find that I can’t quite explain it. Not really. It’s a disservice to classify them as “rock,” because they are so much more. They’re so much more than New Wave with Folk undertones. They’re so much more than indie. How do you put into words an experience like this?

The closest “impersonal” description I’ve come across is by Aquarium Drunkard:

“The National craft mood music. In the span of four albums and an EP they have created a niche of elegant and dark atmospheric rock bolstered by vocalists Matt Berninger’s languid baritone and everyman poetics. These are the 21st century blues for those of us who grew up in the ‘80s. A world view framed by three decades worth of anxiety, mild paranoia, and disappointment — a vision fully, and flawlessly, realized on the group’s third album Alligator.”

And a personal one by Meaghan O’Connell:

“Aaaand you’re crying on the train. That’s all it takes. Two details, one confusing, sort of mysterious line that doesn’t make sense, then a UNIVERSAL FEELING.

And there you have it. A song that it isn’t outright overly-emotional, yet it makes you feel all dreamy and cross-eyed. It makes you feel profound, even though you don’t quite know what you are singing along to.

I mean, I’m down. THAT’S KIND OF MY FAVORITE THING.”

And a tweet:

(A scream-y!Matt.)

(Here is a photo of happy!Matt.)

My friend Karen once said that The National’s music had a tendency to be isolating. She wrote, after seeing them on Treasure Island:

“[…] even if their music can have the tendency to be isolating, it had the complete opposite effect during Treasure Island. It was affective, vulnerable and cathartic, and it was both an instant and gradual kind of falling in love — a Terrible Love (which also happened to be the last song on their set) — the great, poetic kind.”

It’s kind of funny, but it really felt like a gathering of the misanthropes and sad bastards who spend their time in the quiet, always in sweaters, always in gloomy weather. But we all knew the words, and so we all sang along. It’s an odd alchemy of dark loneliness and an uplifting sort of hope, and we cheered for them (and for us), and we reveled in it.

It was so much better than I could have ever imagined it to be. I thought I knew just what kind of being swept away I would feel, but I don’t think I could have prepared myself for this. We got a four-song encore: “Lucky You,” “Mr. November,” “Terrible Love.”

During “Terrible Love,” Matt Berninger leaned into the crowd, just within my reach. I held out my hand to stroke his beard—partly because I’m a creeper, and also partly because I didn’t think he would go into the crowd, like he normally does during “Mr. November.”

And then, he did. I reached out, and he took my hand to steady himself as he made his way further back the theatre. I wish I had a picture, but the memory is stark in my head, and somehow, that is always enough.

We ended with something like a kumbaya—a quiet rendition of “Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks” accompanied only by a guitar, as well as a theatre filled with people who flew in from so many other places.

It was amazing.

In a few days, I’ll be watching The National play in Singapore. I was supposed to see them in March, but they postponed the show to November. Which turned out to be pretty okay, because I can make all the “Mr. November” jokes I want.

Here’s a sampler of songs, which was difficult to pare down to these sixteen songs. First of all, I am a huge fan of The National. I might as well have uploaded their entire discography, if not for some moral faculties that are still in check. Secondly, I found The National after they had already released Boxer, so I didn’t get to bond with the earlier albums, except for Alligator, which ended up being my favorite.

Anyway—these songs. These are a couple of my favorites. Some of these, they don’t even play live all that often, but I wish they would (cough, “All the Wine,” cough). I hope you enjoy. It’s far from comprehensive, but I’d like to think it’s a pretty good list.

Matt Berninger’s voice takes a bit of time to get used to, but once you do, it’s difficult to imagine listening to anything else.

TRACKLIST:

1. “Fake Empire” from Boxer
2. “Looking for Astronauts” from Alligator
3. “Lit Up” from Alligator
4. “Mistaken For Strangers” from Boxer
5. “Abel” from Alligator
6. “Bloodbuzz Ohio” from High Violet
7. “Apartment Story” from Boxer
8. “Terrible Love” from High Violet
9. “Slow Show” from Boxer
10. “Daughters of the Soho Riots” from Alligator
11. “Sorrow” from High Violet
12. “England” from High Violet
13. “Start A War” from Boxer
14. “About Today” from Cherry Tree EP
15. “Mr. November” from Alligator
16. “All the Wine” from Alligator

download the .zip file

I’m not very good at social situations in general. I’m the kind of person who likes staying in to read and have movie marathons. I prefer dinner dates and stories shared over coffee to nights of dancing. I don’t know why, but these things never really felt comfortable to me. Which is probably why I really like going to gigs. You can show up, stand around, and listen to music without having to worry about small talk or withering looks of judgment (mostly because they usually happen in poorly-lit bars, har har).

Sometimes, though, I like having people to talk to and say “hello” to. I like being there for a reason, which in this case, was to support the musical efforts of a friend. Sometimes, it’s nice to have your silences punctuated with laughter, and music, and synchronized singing.

Sometimes, there are fireworks, too.

In response to this mix.

There’s a Wicket in my Pocket:

1. Sunlight in a Jar by The Lucksmiths
2. Low Shoulder by Toro y Moi (Daytrotter session)
3. Shook Down by Yuck (Daytrotter session)
4. Not Even Jail by Interpol
5. Honestly by Zwan
6. The Quiz by Hello Saferide
7. I Love How You Love Me (Live) by Neutral Milk Hotel
8. Thirteen by Elliott Smith (Big Star cover)
9. Girl From the North Country by Dear Nora (Bob Dylan cover)
10. Sleep Tonight by Stars
11. Put Your Hands On Me My Love by Owen
12. Christmas TV by Slow Club
13. This Heart’s On Fire by Wolf Parade

Please enjoy! Download link is here.

It’s been a while, so I’m posting a pretty mix someone made for me. I’ll be posting an accompanying mix I made in return in a few days. Here’s the download link.

1. Oboes Bleat and Triangles Tink by Say Hi
2. With Every Light by Smashing Pumpkins
3. Bored Games by Wild Nothing
4. I’ll Build You A Fire by Seabear
5. This is the Dream of Win & Regine by Final Fantasy
6. Face It by Beach Fossils
7. This Orient by Foals
8. Superconnected by Broken Social Scene
9. The Greater Times by Electrelane
10. Are You On My Side? by Rogue Wave
11. Cigarettes in the Theatre (Daytrotter session) by Two Door Cinema Club
12. On Melancholy Hill by Gorillaz
13. In An Aeroplane Over the Sea (Neutral Milk Hotel cover) by Matt Pond PA
14. Honestly by Zwan

Hope you enjoy! Feel free to let me in the comments know what you think of this mix. I personally love a couple of tracks, and a bulk of them are new to me. I like being introduced to new music, especially if it’s music that I’d like to hear more of.

Sharing music you like is one of the main functions of a mix. Another reason for the existence of the art of making a mixtape is letting people know how you feel about them. I bet you’ve done this, more than once, for feelings other than the romantic sort. Sometimes, nothing drives the point home better than a selection of carefully chosen songs, arranged in a fitting sequence.

Anyway, this mix. I love it. I hope you love it, too.

I tried out black-and-white-ing the photos, but didn’t really like them, but I got too lazy to change them back to the original colors. Some of them are okay, though, I think.

Watching The Radio Dept. is a little bit like sitting in your room, quietly listening to the songs, but after a quick second, you find yourself looking up into the lights, drowning in the massive thump-thumping of the bass and the voices of all those people who know the words to the songs more than you do. I don’t like going to shows of bands that I’m not very familiar with (which is partly why I skipped out on the Whitest Boy Alive), but I can sort of see now how it’s OK to be in a show where you can’t sing along. You just let the music waft through the spaces between you and the other people. And you take it for what it is, and let it move you.

Me, pre-show.

Sarie.

Brother.

Cat.

Moscow Olympics. I have a newfound love. I really, really do.

(If anyone cares, this is my favorite coloring.)

Okay, so, back in the day, Petra and I used to keep a music blog called Warmest Corner, cleverly named after a Lucksmiths album. We were both sad (although, I don’t remember why anymore), and inspired by the likes of Said the Gramophone, we put one up on the platform we both felt (and still feel) most comfortable writing on: Livejournal.

On May 14, 2007, Warmest Corner was born and we started putting up mixes we made and sharing music and although it’s not really very updated anymore, we still like collecting songs we like and arranging them to tell stories. The thing is: we never really made any mixes together, so when Gabby called us up and asked if we could DJ on a Thursday night, we really didn’t know what we were going to be in for.

It’s funny, but I suddenly realized that we really don’t see eye-to-eye when it comes to music… And it was extra traumatizing to try and make an hour-and-a-half long set that sort of held together, despite the inclusion of blatant country music and French electropop. We settled on the theme of a sad bastard with an inner party girl instead. Here’s a tracklist:

And the lovely Petraface uploaded them (in parts!) over here:

PART ONE from Interpol to The Radio Dept.

PART TWO from Robyn to Beirut.

PART THREE from Tegan & Sara to Kelis.

She said:

We thought we were the only weirdos who actually danced to this kind of music, so thank you, everybody who came to Future last night. You made us feel a little less alone.

I don’t have photos of half the people that went, but I always find it so crazy when I think about how people meet people these days. I’ve been meeting a lot of new great people, both online and offline, and it’s just always so astounding to me how the world seems so small and so big at the same time.

And it always amazes me even more how, if you look hard enough, you can find the people who you really want to keep.

(All photos were taken by my brother, Luis. Under the cut, there are videos, of course. Of course.)

For some reason, that night involved a lot of Robyn.

HAHAHA this is really funny.

On missing The National:

For those of you who didn’t know, I was supposed to fly out to Singapore with my brother to watch The National play in Esplanade for the Mosaic Festival. The show was supposed to be on tonight, but due to circumstances concerning the recent tsunami in Japan, the Asian leg of the tour had to be canceled. My brother and I have been dragging around heavy hearts since Saturday afternoon, and we decided not to fly out anymore. (We were just there last month. It seemed redundant and unnecessary.)

The fact that this is the thing that I am most upset about says a lot about how blessed I am. But that I am here blogging about how sad I am instead of singing my throat raw really, really breaks my heart. It’s not a secret that I have been having a rough year, and while it’s been rewarding in a few aspects, it’s mostly shit. Every time some new nightmare presents itself to me, I console myself and say, It’s OK—you’re going to see The National in March, and I honestly feel tons better about my situation.

My brother and I have been watching the livestreams of their shows in the last year, and while those are rousing, experiences, it doesn’t change the fact that we are still separated by screens and pixels. Very few things compare to that feeling of being there, with your lungs on fire, along with hundreds, maybe thousands, of other screaming people whose hearts have been touched and whose lives have been changed by the same things that touched and changed you.

One of my friends from LiveJournal once Tweeted: “Matt Berninger’s voice is a hug around my heavy heart,” and that is precisely why I love it so much. It’s all-at-once elegiac and optimistic, and it cuts through your bones—not violently, but earnestly. It’s funny how a lot of people are turned off by them because of it, but that it exactly one of the reasons why I keep coming back to their music. It’s a brilliant example of only being able to appreciate something when you find yourself looking at it up close.

I didn’t like The National when I first heard them, and now I can’t stop listening.

I am really grieving on the inside. Today, I woke up and went about my day as usual. I walked to the drugstore with my brother—“This should have been a walk to Esplanade!”—ate a little bit of cake, felt guilty for not buying flowers from a starving child even though I probably could have spared some change. I read and understood a bit of the Book of Job.

I tried to think about other things, because I refuse to concede to that nagging little thought in my head that this might have been the only chance that I could have seen them. I choose to be optimistic. I choose to believe that there are going to be a lot more different opportunities, not just for this one letdown, but for other things in the future. I choose to be happy despite this enormous disappointment, because I honestly feel like it’s the better option.

The running trend for my 2011, so far, is being faced with that option to be happy. I think that’s partly why I started Maybe Very Happy. There are so many things to grieve for, but I feel like there is also a lot of space for happiness. I choose to be happy, even though it’s so much easier to be sad. Wallowing in sadness and feeling like the world hates me are things that are easy to do, because there are so many things that can make me believe in that. But I have been realizing that the possibility of happiness is always there. I just need to learn how to see it amidst the rest of the muck.

P.S. This is what we did instead. Hahaha sobrang lugi:

Truthfully, the title and the cover art have nothing to do with this mix. I made it quite a while ago, with the intention of maybe making a new mix, but I just made one now that I didn’t have a title for. So, here we are. I hope you enjoy. Some of them are quite sad, but lovely all the same. Didn’t really plan for this many covers, either.

Tracklist:

1. C’Mere by Interpol
2. Heart in Your Heartbreak by The Pains of Being Pure At Heart
3. Sentimental Tune by Tegan and Sara
4. Crossed Out Name by Ryan Adams & the Cardinals
5. Your Heart Is An Empty Room by Death Cab For Cutie
6. Ghost by Voxtrot
7. You and I by Wilco
8. By Your Side (Sade cover) by Beachwood Sparks
9. All I Have To Do Is Dream (The Everly Brothers cover) by Bob Dylan
10. Without Permission (Caroline Martin cover) by The National
11. Suburban War by Arcade Fire
12. Maps (Yeah Yeah Yeahs cover) by Rogue Wave
13. Sea of Love (Phil Phillips cover) by Cat Power
14. Don’t Have to Be So Sad by Yo La Tengo
15. Pale Blue Eyes by The Velvet Underground

download .zip here

I’ll leave you all to read between the lines, I guess.