I have successfully accomplished 4 out of 10 January Goals, which seems pretty pitiful, I guess.

Here are my February goals, with some of January’s goals carried over:

• Read 7 books
• Exercise 3 times a week
• Save 50% of paycheck
• Revive Maybe Very Happy
• Organization
        — Workspace
        — Room (Spring Cleaning)
• Start working on an exhibit for June
• Do branding for shop
• Work on online portfolio (Funnily enough, I did this in January)
        — Design business cards. Print them.
• Get better at film photography
        — Get the Nikon FM-2 fixed

I like doing monthly goals because I get to fine-tune my “progress” during the year. I know it’s kind of a dorky thing to do, but I like having a way to steer me towards the person I want to be. Or at least, some kind of accountability for my own goals.

Sometimes I don’t use up all the film I have in my camera, so when I have them processed, they’re a jumble of adventures and mishaps. It’s fun looking through them, especially when enough time has passed between the events. I took a Sproket snapshot of The National’s Singapore show, but it must have been too dark (even with the flash), that I won’t even post the outcome. I wish I took more shots. Oh well, lesson learned.

Manila, Philippines: December 2011

I’ve come to realize that a) I don’t really like Lomography film (except for the X-Pro Chrome and Tungsten variants), b) I’m not very good at film photography, and c) I need to learn how to read light.

Manila, Philippines x Mayoyao, Ifugao, Philippines: December 2011 x January 2012

It’s hard to make film photographs not come off as snapshotty. I guess that’s my main goal, after everything. It’s funny, but usually, when I’m not good at something, I drop it like a hot potato. It’s not a trait that I’m particularly proud of, but there you go. Funnily enough, this particular failure has made me very persistent. I won’t quit until I get good enough at it, or if I run out of money, spending it on seemingly frivolous things like film (read: things that are expensive that I don’t even earn from).

Stick; Manila, Philippines: December 2011

Hong Kong Disneyland: October 2011

October 2011
Hong Kong

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December 2011
The Grim Repat x Ang Bandang Shirley:

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Mayoyao, Ifugao
January 2012

Got these prints today. They suck. I have to get better~ at taking film pictures. One, because I like it a lot, and two, because I think it’s a good skill to have (knowing proper techniques, etc). Truthfully, I was way better when I started out, although I used to use a Nikon FM-2. It’s broken now, so I’ve been using a Nikon FE. I’ll have the FM-2 fixed one of these days.

Lomography Tungsten

X-Pro Chrome

If you haven’t seen the video it is here:

I’m having a lot of trouble with this film. I think it works best on bright, sunny days, but I’ll be sad if I end up with another roll like this.

I have other shots on this roll, but not from this day. If anyone can help, that would be awesome.
(I shot at ISO 64.)

This year, I have decided not to make any resolutions, partly because I don’t follow them anyway. Rather, I thought about what my 2011 had been and thought about what I had learned and experienced, and how I could make my 2012 better. So, instead, I have GOALS.

My head is a muddle right now, so I don’t feel very comfortable sharing my big, long-term goals. I also believe in keeping some things secrets for the time being. Anyway, I’m copying an LJ friend who had been doing a monthly goals type of thing for a few years now.

Doing Monthly Goals instead of Yearly Resolutions is helpful because it gives you a chance to review your progress more closely and also to regroup after each month. Big, yearly resolutions are harder to keep track of, but I think it’s good to have overarching goals each year, to kind of direct you towards specific choices. Arriane actually does annual thematic overhauls, which I think is super interesting, but a little intimidating and overwhelming for a first timer like me. Maybe next year.

As for myself, here are my JANUARY GOALS:

• Read 7 books.
• Go on the treadmill at least 3 times a week. (I’ll explain later.)
• Get two big projects. YAY.
• Work six hours a day, five days a week. (Or a total of thirty hours a week.)
• Save 50% of each paycheck.
• Write down all expenses. Begin accounting.
• Mail out all pending packages.
• Fix/fine-tune Recovery.
• Writing project with Liana.
• Maybe revive Maybe Very Happy.

(I am not very good at this.)

In any case, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and while I haven’t really reached any definite sort of conclusion about anything—aside from I absolutely cannot dance and I like staying home and Sometimes you only realize you miss people when they are gone—I think I’ve reached, at least, leanings towards conclusions. Steps nearer them, anyway.

For example: I have learned that I do want to write, and make art, and step a tiny bit away from design, unless it’s something I believe in, or it’s something that is challenging, or fulfilling. Or if it facilitates growth. Often, my problem with designing has been that it doesn’t really make me want to do more of whatever it is I am doing. There have been some hits, but I think it mostly happens when I’m allowed to go about the project in my own way.

Chuck Close once said that inspiration is for amateurs, but I like being inspired by the work that I do, that’s all.

So, onto the pictures. I don’t have any pictures from the wake or the funeral, except for the ones I took with other people’s cameras, so let me tell you other stories instead. Last Tuesday, I had my first solo exhibit. It was exhilarating and scary and quite honestly, I get anxious whenever I think about it. Thankfully, a lot of people got to share this moment with me. I have this strange complex where I refrain from inviting people to things like this (also: birthdays) because of something that happened when I turned 7, but I am getting better at it. Thank you to everyone who took time and made the effort to trek all the way to our gallery. It meant a lot to me.

Except for this nonsense. (!)

CURSE YOUR SUDDEN BUT INEVITABLE BETRAYAL.

Then there was this party for Rogue’s 50th issue. There was no actual dancing involved, at least in our little group. I honestly think the Internet has spoiled me in terms of getting to know people. I don’t know if these things are constructed to be both a celebration and a networking opportunity, but if it is, I definitely failed at it.

We went to Draft, just a few skips away (we saw a giant rat the size of a tiny cat scurrying down the sidewalk) and had good conversation, which I think I am at least better at than Big Group Socializing.

Reading & Technology > Partying. Only because I don’t know how to do the latter properly. What do you do? I think we are watching a YouTube video here of some visual atrocity that is not to be named or linked. Unrelated: I often think about whether or not having 3G is actually good for me. Usually, the answer is yes, Carina, it is good for you.

Face Twins.

And then we had a Crack O’ Dawn Snack (i.e. Keema and Kababs), laughing at exposed buttcracks because we are mature.

So much has happened these past few days. I put up my own show, which was both gratifying and encouraging. I’ve been turning down heavy design jobs to consciously concentrate on making art. I still say yes to small projects, though as I’ve been running out of time but also having the time of my life. At least, in that aspect. Thank you to everyone who’s been supportive and, well, nice about my work. Warms the heart, it really does.

Lately, the difficulties of happily living a life in the way that I would like to have presented themselves to me, and in moments of blind panic, I just really shut down. It’s always dumb and irresponsible, but I am a wallower, so I wallow. I don’t want to be anymore, though. I used to think that there were situations that I absolutely couldn’t rise above and so, despite claiming to be a never give-upper, I have thrown the towel in countless times and pitied myself and I reveled in my sadness and lameness. I felt sorry for myself, and looking back, I honestly feel ashamed that I indulged in caring too much. I feel ashamed that I decided to not do anything about any of these things and just gave in to my melodramatic, despairing heart.

A lot of other things have happened, too.

My mom’s brother, Tito Dennis, passed away last Sunday. It wasn’t sudden, because the condition of his health wasn’t really a secret. But, Tara Maclay, in “The Body,” said of her mother’s death, “It’s always sudden.” It’s always going to be too soon.

More than mourning for his passing, I am sorry that I never made it a point to get to know him. We went to a couple of memorial services and it was so moving to hear how much of a great teacher, friend and colleague he was (he’s the Director of Computer Science and IT in Asia Pacific College). People loved him there. He was, in their words, a visionary.

It felt really sad to me that I couldn’t say anything much more than “he was always so nice to me” or “his smile always lit up the room” or “he loved his cars so much.” I’ll always be sorry that I never really got to know that side of him that people got to cherish. I don’t have a strong, particular memory with my uncle, and this makes me so sad.

I also feel ashamed that I have invested in people that shouldn’t really matter, but never got to know those who do. I have so many cousins and I never really got to know them as anything more than that. We don’t graduate from small talk, and this new, strange part of me really wants to be there for my family.

In any case, I’m glad that there are so many people who loved him while he was still here. I just hope he knew, in whatever little way I could express, that I loved him, too.

MANILA, Philippines – Tiger Translate, a cross-cultural movement that has taken the world by storm, set its claws on Philippine shores last Friday. Held at KYSS bar on Makati Avenue, Tiger Translate kicked off its celebration of creativity with positively electric sets played by Turbo Goth as well as a live graffiti battle between Nuno and Ekis, both from KST Philippines.

We arrived just in time for a round of giveaways. The place was packed with people ready for a taste of Manila creativity and, of course, of Tiger Beer. Originally from Singapore, Tiger Beer has actually been available in select bars in Manila, but it doesn’t seem like a staple in many Filipino gatherings. It’s a light brew that goes down pretty smoothly, and very good when served ice-cold.

KYSS was adorned with Tiger-inspired pieces from all over the world, showing the breadth and extent of talents worldwide. There was a surge of excitement and a swell of pride as I was looking through the makeshift gallery. There were submissions from Australia, Korea, the UK, Singapore, the Philippines, and many other countries. The astounding part is that they all converged in the same area all of them different from each other but ultimately connected.

They themselves have proclaimed it: Tiger’s mission is to create a massive creative explosion instigated by this exposure to various cultures and experiences. They’ve picked emerging artists who create work that’s engaging and inspiring. They want to see how these things can come together, and they want to take the rest of the world along for the ride. Tiger Translate is all about posibilities discovering, creating, and reacting to them.

The first Tiger Translate in Manila was just a peek into the world of Filipino artists wild, understated, bold, and unpredictable. It’s also good exposure to the kind of work that’s being made all over the world. I, for one, am excited to see the rest. — SUPREME, The Philippine Star, 26 November 2011.

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Tiger Translate has a couple more events coming up in Manila. Stay tuned for announcements by following @TranslateMNL on Twitter and http://tigertranslatemanila.tumblr.com. For more information, visit http://tigertranslate.com.

The bag Sarie won!

Ekis.

Nuno.

A favorite piece—from Australia!

More Turbo Goth.

A few updates, I suppose. Sometimes, I need these assessment things to kind of prove to myself that I’m actually doing things. It’s kind of hard to remember when you are in charge of your time, and it seems like a lot of it goes to television and eating and invasive Tumblr memes.

Above: Lunar Landing, 2011. This: Science Year, 2011.

After Hours, 2011.

Missya (detail), 2011. This is a small part of a whole, which happens to be a part of a big series.

Aside from these things, I’ve been quite busy with client work, which I am thankful for. But sometimes, I feel like crashing my head through a wall. Sometimes, it really pays off, though. One of my recent projects is called Roadtrip Zambales, which is an effort to draw more people to beautiful Zambales! Here is the teaser. I had nothing to do with it, but it’s beautiful nonetheless.

Other exciting things also happened in the week that was, but I’m a bit too tired and knackered to talk about them. After all, it’s half past four in the morning. Lately, I’ve been thinking about my place in the world and it just depresses me. It depresses me that I constantly feel like I’m not doing enough and  that people look down on me. It’s really just ramblings of an ex-high school loser, but sometimes, it really can’t be helped. It’s been growing more intensely, and I don’t know what to do, so I bury myself in work and t.v. and lots and lots of tea. Anyway.

Until then, I hope you enjoy these. I’ll be back with exciting new projects, and perhaps pictures. Good night.

If you’ve been on the Internet a lot, you’ve probably heard about Tiger Translate. Tiger Translate is a worldwide campaign that showcases local creative talents, and they’ve chosen Manila as their next stop! The first leg of this bar tour will happen on November 18, 2011—this Friday—at KYSS. There’s going to be live music from Turbo Goth, as well as a live Graffiti Battle between KST Philippines’ Nuno and Ekis.

For more information about Tiger Translate, head on over to their official website: TigerTranslate.com. You’ll see how amazing and far-reaching this “cross-cultural movement” has been, having gone to places like Beijing, Bangkok, Cambodia, Sydney, and so on.

I think it’s a wonderful opportunity to celebrate and exercise creativity in a different way. I’m so used to going to galleries and exhibits that are static, so this is a new way for me to get to know how other people perceive art. Taken from their website:

We’re cross-cultural.
We’re multi-disciplinary.
We’re East meets West.
We’re Tiger Translate.

And our mission? To generate the next big bang in creativity through exposure to different cultures and experiences. Fusing visionaries from the ends of the world, we showcase the best of emerging Asian creativity with work that challenges the status quo. And more importantly, work that entertains, engages and inspires you. But don’t take our word for it. Open your mind to new possibilities and see it for yourself here.

If you were interested in seeing the kind of art this movement has produced, you can see them for yourself.

Here’s a link to their teaser video, since I can’t seem to figure out how to embed it. Looks exciting, yes?

I think it’s about time something like this happened, too.

Don’t forget!

Tiger Translate kicks off in Manila with a bang! Watch the Graffiti Showdown between local street artists Nuno and Ekis from KST Philippines as they showcase their creativity live, and around the theme of GOLD.

Be part of the electric atmosphere on 18th November in the Philippines, and enjoy live music from Turbo Goth (http://turbogoth.bandcamp.com/). Drink up on your fill of Tiger Beer, and see which artist will emerge victorious!

Event: Tiger Translate in Manila
Theme: Gold
Date: 18th November 2011
Time: 9p.m.
Location: KYSS Bar

Join us as we bring the vibrancy and creativity of Tiger Translate to Manila.

Hope to see you there!

Anyway. A few snapshots of the last few days!

1. MY DUMB FILM CHALLENGE.
I went to an Iloilo-Bacolod trip for ten days. We were supposed to go to Concepcion, a nice beach three hours away from Iloilo’s city proper, but the rain fell down in drizzles. The sun beat down by the time we reached Bacolod, and it’s still following me here, over in Manila.

Stupidly, I brought only film cameras (save for my iPhone), so not everything I wanted to capture translated the way I saw them. I suppose that’s the risk! But sometimes, nice things turn up, too.

I have a wonky face.

A more complete post coming up. Saving a lot of the nicer ones for later. I’m trying out a lot of different film, and so far so good. A pretty expensive experiment, but what can you do. So far, I am in love with slide film and the LOMO color negatives, but I am not a fan of the 800 ISO, which I got a bunch of. Oh well.

2. YSTYLE COLLABORATION

For October, I collaborated with YStyle, which is the style section of my favorite broadsheet. I added my stuff on top of their logo. They do it every few issues (not sure if it’s a monthly switch), and it’s awesome to have been a part of that. Pau made the one that came out before mine!

Bea Ledesma wrote up a super nice feature here, too.

3. I WROTE FOR ROGUE!

It’s always been my dream to get published in a magazine. I don’t think people know this, really, but before I made a living off of art and before I even considered going to school before art, I have always wanted to be a writer. So far, I’ve only had my work in three local magazines, but it was absolutely thrilling to have gotten a call to write one for one of my favorites, Rogue. I have had my graphic work published there before, but getting a call for a writing assignment was—excuse the extreme fangirling—a dream.

I was just asked to write about food, which is truthfully not my forte. But hey, it involved three things I loved: food, writing, and Rogue!

It ran in the October issue (Anne Curtis explosion), so get a copy while you still can. Personally, my favorite is the black-and-white one.

4. COFFEE

While walking around Bacolod for a Bong Bong’s, I stumbled upon a stall that sold nicely packaged local coffee. I bought two bags (because I’m a sucker), but I’ve only tried the Mt. Kanlaon roast.

For a medium roast, it tasted pretty dark to me! I’m kind of dreading tasting the Negrenese blend. Not because it wasn’t good, but because I’m a coffee wuss. I like coffee a lot, but I haven’t reached barako levels of reverence. Although, I’ve tried civet coffee. It’s pretty good, considering it literally comes from shit.

I admire the venture, though! It’s a project that aims to promote sustainability. I’ll talk more about that in another post.

5. A DESIGN STALKER’S DREAM.

I came upon Dribbble first when I was perusing Melanie‘s portfolio. I was hooked on the idea immediately. In the vein of the hyper-updates of social networks, Dribbble revolves around the question: What are you working on?

Users update other users with 400px x 300px screenshots of their WIPs. You can also do “rebounds” where you update previously uploaded work with edits, etc. It’s great, and awesome, and I love being a part of it. (Thanks to Dan Matutina, infinitely.)

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My brain is muddled and such right now. My site stats are depressing me, and yeah, I still do feel quite like butter. I got back in from Bacolod last night, and I’m flying to Hong Kong two days from now. I’ll be in Singapore the week after. A part of me is celebrating because of all the fun I’ll be having (hello, The National!) but another part is also dreading the intervals in which I work like a dog.

But, speaking of dreams: I’ve come to realize that you really need to push and stretch yourself to get to where you want to be. I don’t think it’s bad to have lofty dreams, but I think I do need to touch base with myself every once in a while, so I remember what those dreams require of me.

Right now, when I look at my to-do list, my heart just crumples up into a little ball. When I sit down and start working, though, I feel like I can maybe actually make it work.