It’s been ten days since my first solo show opened, and I don’t know why it took so long for me to wrangle up the time to post pictures. I think I was hoping people would go instead of just look at photos on blogs (hehe), but I realize that not a lot of people have access to the North, just because it’s so far away from everything else. Except my own house. In any case, these are the pieces I ended up putting up for display.

It was such a great night. Thank you for everyone who dropped by and made it super special. Thanks also to people who talked, tweeted, and wrote about it. I hope to see you in future shows that I am hoping to have. Links to people who wrote about this because I am super happy and thankful:

• TAG ALONG/Nante on Status magazine’s blog.
• Manila Art Blogger/Trickie Lopa. Mostly on Kaloy Sanchez’s.
• Candy magazine online/Macy
• Young Star/Ralph Mendoza
• Living Asia Channel/Chui
• Pilar
• Kat
• Hunter and Hoarder/Barby

More photos of the works and opening night under the cut. Again, it’s up until December 31 at West Gallery. Hope you can drop by and take a look.

Continue reading EXCAVATIONS FROM THE END OF THE WORLD, PT. 2….

The previous week was pretty confusing to me, as a person, just because so many, widely variable things happened in a short span of time. I didn’t really get to process things very well either.

(I am not very good at this.)

In any case, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and while I haven’t really reached any definite sort of conclusion about anything—aside from I absolutely cannot dance and I like staying home and Sometimes you only realize you miss people when they are gone—I think I’ve reached, at least, leanings towards conclusions. Steps nearer them, anyway.

For example: I have learned that I do want to write, and make art, and step a tiny bit away from design, unless it’s something I believe in, or it’s something that is challenging, or fulfilling. Or if it facilitates growth. Often, my problem with designing has been that it doesn’t really make me want to do more of whatever it is I am doing. There have been some hits, but I think it mostly happens when I’m allowed to go about the project in my own way.

Chuck Close once said that inspiration is for amateurs, but I like being inspired by the work that I do, that’s all.

So, onto the pictures. I don’t have any pictures from the wake or the funeral, except for the ones I took with other people’s cameras, so let me tell you other stories instead. Last Tuesday, I had my first solo exhibit. It was exhilarating and scary and quite honestly, I get anxious whenever I think about it. Thankfully, a lot of people got to share this moment with me. I have this strange complex where I refrain from inviting people to things like this (also: birthdays) because of something that happened when I turned 7, but I am getting better at it. Thank you to everyone who took time and made the effort to trek all the way to our gallery. It meant a lot to me.

Except for this nonsense. (!)

CURSE YOUR SUDDEN BUT INEVITABLE BETRAYAL.

Then there was this party for Rogue’s 50th issue. There was no actual dancing involved, at least in our little group. I honestly think the Internet has spoiled me in terms of getting to know people. I don’t know if these things are constructed to be both a celebration and a networking opportunity, but if it is, I definitely failed at it.

We went to Draft, just a few skips away (we saw a giant rat the size of a tiny cat scurrying down the sidewalk) and had good conversation, which I think I am at least better at than Big Group Socializing.

Reading & Technology > Partying. Only because I don’t know how to do the latter properly. What do you do? I think we are watching a YouTube video here of some visual atrocity that is not to be named or linked. Unrelated: I often think about whether or not having 3G is actually good for me. Usually, the answer is yes, Carina, it is good for you.

Face Twins.

And then we had a Crack O’ Dawn Snack (i.e. Keema and Kababs), laughing at exposed buttcracks because we are mature.

So much has happened these past few days. I put up my own show, which was both gratifying and encouraging. I’ve been turning down heavy design jobs to consciously concentrate on making art. I still say yes to small projects, though as I’ve been running out of time but also having the time of my life. At least, in that aspect. Thank you to everyone who’s been supportive and, well, nice about my work. Warms the heart, it really does.

Lately, the difficulties of happily living a life in the way that I would like to have presented themselves to me, and in moments of blind panic, I just really shut down. It’s always dumb and irresponsible, but I am a wallower, so I wallow. I don’t want to be anymore, though. I used to think that there were situations that I absolutely couldn’t rise above and so, despite claiming to be a never give-upper, I have thrown the towel in countless times and pitied myself and I reveled in my sadness and lameness. I felt sorry for myself, and looking back, I honestly feel ashamed that I indulged in caring too much. I feel ashamed that I decided to not do anything about any of these things and just gave in to my melodramatic, despairing heart.

A lot of other things have happened, too.

My mom’s brother, Tito Dennis, passed away last Sunday. It wasn’t sudden, because the condition of his health wasn’t really a secret. But, Tara Maclay, in “The Body,” said of her mother’s death, “It’s always sudden.” It’s always going to be too soon.

More than mourning for his passing, I am sorry that I never made it a point to get to know him. We went to a couple of memorial services and it was so moving to hear how much of a great teacher, friend and colleague he was (he’s the Director of Computer Science and IT in Asia Pacific College). People loved him there. He was, in their words, a visionary.

It felt really sad to me that I couldn’t say anything much more than “he was always so nice to me” or “his smile always lit up the room” or “he loved his cars so much.” I’ll always be sorry that I never really got to know that side of him that people got to cherish. I don’t have a strong, particular memory with my uncle, and this makes me so sad.

I also feel ashamed that I have invested in people that shouldn’t really matter, but never got to know those who do. I have so many cousins and I never really got to know them as anything more than that. We don’t graduate from small talk, and this new, strange part of me really wants to be there for my family.

In any case, I’m glad that there are so many people who loved him while he was still here. I just hope he knew, in whatever little way I could express, that I loved him, too.

Hello! As I said in the last post, I’ll be having my first solo exhibit soon. It’s called Excavations from the End of the World, and I wanted to make you feel like rifling through the remnants of an apocalyptic event, like the last remaining archaeologist.

Douglas Adams ascribed a new meaning to ‘ahenny,’ which points to the way people stand when they look at other people’s bookshelves. I just wanted to mention that because it generates a certain image of the type of work I’m going to make, and how people will respond to them. At least in my head.

WHEN: December 6, 2011, 6pm.
WHERE: West Gallery, 48 West Avenue, Quezon City
MAP:

If you go, you’ll also see new work by my brother, Luis Santos, Frederick Sausa and Kaloy Sanchez. They are some of my favorite artists, no biases. I posted about Sausa’s and Sanchez’ work before. Also, I will feed you food and beer.

If you can’t make it to opening night, it’s still going to be up until the end of the year (December 31). Let me know if you’re going to pass by, so I can say hi!

Thanks for reading, and I hope I see you there!

Gallery hours are Monday-Saturday, 9am – 6pm.
Telephone: +63 2 411 0336
Fax: +63 2 411 9221
Email: info@westgallery.com

———

These are some of my old pieces, but they’re pretty close to the kind of work I’m making for this show:

From Manilart.

From a group show.

Thou asketh for space, and thou wast givest. Or something.

Since I didn’t have my own room (I share with my sister), I asked for this huge table that nobody used. I’ve been spending my time there when I want into my “Work Zone,” but I was caught in a flurry of trips that led to it being really, really messy. I haven’t properly moved in yet, but here are some photos anyway.

I don’t know what this cubby hole thing used to be for, but I asked for it, and now I keep my Washi tape, Dymo thingums, and bits and pieces of paper, such as important Field Notes notebooks, which fit snugly into each pocket.

First instinct was to dump everything on this fine, fine desk. The problem is that because it has so much stuff on top of it, I have resorted to working on the floor.

This is a preview of my upcoming show, I guess! Please try to save the night of December 6 for me. I will feed you. :)

The idea is that once I get a breather, I fix this space up really good. It’s a temporary set-up, but it’s the best place I currently have access to, so I might as well make it mine.

Also: I should get used to ghosts, as this area is reportedly haunted. It’s a little problematic, because I find myself scrambling down a staircase at 4:30 in the morning with half-done projects, scared out of my wits because my brain has started to malfunction. BUT I WILL OVERCOME.

Mostly because I have to.

I know it’s probably in bad taste to post a wishlist (for Christmas, no less!) after an unintentional hiatus, but I have my reasons. Just kidding, I don’t really. But the point is, this is mostly what I want for Christmas, in case anyone wants to get me anything.

Usually, it sort of serves as a personal checklist for me to tick off stuff I eventually end up buying for myself. I’m a terrible online shopper—I don’t mark the things I want, but I end up buying things out of impulse.

In any case, I will tell you what I want, what I really, really want.

A KINDLE.

The cheapest one on the market—not the Touch or the Fire.
I’m probably going to buy this for myself,
but here is a placeholder for you, you sexy thing.

A FIELD NOTES COLORS SUBSCRIPTION

Mostly because the price dropped ($97 from $129, darn it!),
and I’m a bit wary of purchasing another set,
because those notebooks come in more frequently than I can use them up.

This only means that I am not writing enough, really.
But. We’ll see. I usually give in anyway.

I mean, have you seen the colors?

XACTO Basic Set (Precision Knives)

I would love to say that I need this for my craft, and I do.
It’s just that I also want it because of the fun I can have with it.

Lomokino

A Lomography camera that takes microfilms. How awesome is that.

I would, however, settle for some film, though.
Quite partial to XPro Chrome.

AND THE OBVIOUS CONTENDERS:
books, DVDs, LPs, magazine subscriptions, art, money

Snail mail would be nice. I used to post my mailing address for all to see, but I now realize how that is an invitation for potentially creepy situations, so I’m thinking the better of it. I thought about getting a P.O. box, briefly, but then I thought—who the heck would send you mail?

If you, however, have sent me mail: my address is the same and I would love to hear from you. I promise to write back. Honest! Art trades, mix trades, words trades. I would love to connect with out off of the internet, and off of computers.

If you would like to know my address but are a n00b in my life (aka, potential creeper), send me an email first, and then we’ll see. I live in a compound with at least twenty other people, so it would be very hard to creep on me.

ANYWAY. I am not really a fan of materialism, but if anybody wanted to get me anything, here is some help. I don’t really like gag gifts. Don’t waste your money.

Anything you particularly want for Christmas? Honestly, I just want that Kindle.