This blog is Looking For Alaska’d Out, I know, but its author, John Green, is brilliant in so many other different ways. Lately, I’ve been thinking about the importance of cohesion and unity and meaning in created works, and how a lot of my writing has been thoroughly insubstantial. I say this with an earnestness and a modesty that I hope will not be taken as me fishing for compliments.

The truth is that, when I began really thinking about being a writer, it was because of fiction. And now, after being a fellow for a Heights workshop two (three?) years ago, I have turned up with nothing to show for it. When people assume that my Biggest Life Dream is to be a designer, I politely correct them and say that what I really want to be is a novelist. I still want that, and I’m more than a little bit ashamed that I haven’t been doing anything about it.

I think I might have frozen up a little bit, and maybe I’d become a little paralyzed by the thought of potentially writing something awful or shallow or empty. And then, through the course of this stagnation, I’ve forgotten how to try.

The point of this entry is that, while randomly watching John Green’s latest update on the vlog channel he shares with his brother, Hank, this wonderful man gave me the jolt that I needed, I think. And with his parting words, the pressure has been lifted off of me, to come up with something beautiful or harrowing or life-changing, replacing it with the desire to create something true.

And then, I’m left beginning to think that, maybe, I’m ready to write stories again.

“There used to be a barn in this field, a barn where I first told a girl I loved her, and where I spent my first all-nighter studying world history by flashlight while drinking astonishingly bad wine. Emily Dickinson wrote that success is counted sweetest by those who ne’er succeed, and so, too, youth is counted sweetest by those who are no longer young.

Nostalgia is inevitably a yearning for a past that never existed, and when I’m writing, there are no bees to sting me out of my sentimentality.

For me, at least, fiction is the only way I can even begin to twist my lying memories into something true.” — John Green

Make lemonade is what people usually say, but Life hasn’t really given me any lemons to speak of. I just felt a little hermitic today (add to that the complications of transportation), so instead of attending to a headachingly long list of Special Events, I ended up going to none.

Can’t call my day wasted, though, because I worked on my new Etsy shop, the astronomical light.

So far, I only have a few items up, but I’m still thinking of more things I could possibly sell. Recently spoke with my parents about how important it is (at least, personally) to be able to sell something you’ve made. Not because of the money, necessarily, because I obviously can’t live off selling pinback buttons on the Internet. Not for the money, but for that certain affirmation that someone believes in your work so much, they’d actually spend money on it.

I’m looking into screenprinted prints, tote bags, shirts (maybe?), notebooks, actual books, and maybe postcards. Someone suggested book-themed sets of pinback buttons, and while I do (personally) love the idea, I don’t know if I want to be known as Pinback Button Girl.

Anyway, wish me luck! I’m going to spend the rest of tonight drafting articles and finishing up some deliverables for some clients I have as a freelancer, or sketch a design I’m working on for this NGO called “A-HA! Learning Center” that my friend, Jaton, started with his sister.

Oh, also one bit of important news: I am no longer unemployed!

INSERT VICTORIOUS SMILE HERE. We’ll see how it goes, so more on that when I actually start working (which will be on Monday). :)

More photos under the cut. Continue reading When Life Gives You Lemons….

Nona Garcia is one of my favorite artists. She’s easily one of the most skilled painters in Manila today. (I dare you to argue this point. LOLJK, do not debate with me. I will probably lose.) In any case, I’d been looking forward to the exhibit for a while now, and it did not disappoint.

While a lot of ‘signature’ Nona Garcia pieces are missing from this exhibit (I’m pretty much a big fan of that series of kind-of portraits she makes, where she paints people’s backs. Strange Familiarity is one such exhibit that has my favorite pieces. She had a series up in Finale also last May, which I posted about), the pieces she did have up did not disappoint.

West Gallery has three exhibit rooms, and Nona filled up the three with different approaches to the exhibit’s title. By definition, fractures pertain to breaks, faultlines, fissures, interruptions, and so on.

Gallery 2, the smallest room of the three, featured an overwhelming series of broken objects’ X-rays mounted as a neatly arranged map on the wall, tellingly entitled “A Series of Fractures.” This arrangement has caused me to consider that these objects (including a typewriter, an umbrella, a chair), now twisted and useless, are at the end of their lives, as it were. However, it also seems that by presenting these broken fragments as negative images, we, the viewers are caused to reconsider them and take them as new things that stir new ideas.

Gallery 3 had a series of 4 oil paintings of exactly the same piece of paper crumpled into a ball. Each paired with an ornate and really gorgeous white frame, these pieces, to me, explore the nuances created by repetition. How each piece, although based on the same image, presented in the same manner, and rendered by the same artist’s hand, are still wholly and completely different from one another.

Somewhat relatedly, but I adore the use of negative space, both in the pieces (the subjects are concentrated in the center, surrounded by seas of white) and in the way they were curated. In the entire room, only one wall is graced by these pieces, the entire focus of the viewer oriented to that single wall. I really like that.

detail

Gallery 1, which is the main gallery, features scenes of flooded houses. Each photo is painstakingly cut, according to each element’s depth of field, and layered on top of each other, creating a stunning visual presentation of each scene. While the subject matter speaks literally of brokenness, the rendering speaks of a different kind of fracture, of broken pieces put together to form a whole.

The viewer probably expects the flat expanse of a photograph, so closer inspection of the pieces offer a pleasant surprise. The lighting (ambient, moody, a bright, shining light beating down from the top), and framing elevates these pieces to another place altogether. The many different layers makes you inadvertently wonder about the work that went into these pieces, the thoughts behind them, making you want to really spend time on the pieces, to take everything in.

Obviously, these thoughts did not immediately come to me as I was looking at them. For the most part, I was joking around with people, eating chicharon and puto, and drinking beer. But the more I think about these works, the more I see them come together.

Continue reading Nona Garcia’s ‘Fractures’…

Geraldine Javier, Finale Art File
+ my reflection!

This year’s Manilart left me both overwhelmed and underwhelmed. Trickie Lopa of Manila Art Blogger wrote in a really extensive and thorough entry about Manilart 10 sentiments which I mostly agree with:

Overall, I thought that Manilart 10 felt like a huge bazaar of paintings, more paintings, and copies of paintings. [...]

Because the fair already attracts a huge crowd, it would be great if the succeeding ones also become a venue to make artistic statements, to expose the audience to other visual art forms. The galleries that organize the fair should use its success to push for more experimental pieces. I would think that the fair should spearhead elevating standards— not just extend the galleries’ backrooms. Think of what Cinemalaya has done for Filipino independent film makers.

Mona, Soler, Stevesantos; West Gallery.

Stevesantos, Malang, Roberto Chabet; West Gallery.

I guess it’s a little hard to write about it, since we had a booth up and all, so our tastes don’t really mirror some of the other galleries’ but looking on the bright side, I did see a lot of excellent art from my favorite artists, and got introduced to the works of others I will definitely watch out for. It was a great experience for me to weed through all the fabulous art going around the country, and select pieces and artists that I liked. I kind of just tag along with my parents to go see exhibits, so it was kind of nice to look around and discover artists I would not have even heard of if it hadn’t been for the fair.

Valeria Cavestany, Manila Contemporary.

Mariano Ching, SLab.

Alfredo Aquilizan, The Drawing Room.
(This stretched out reaaaaaally long. It was awesome.)

Cos Zicarelli, Art Informal.

Poklong Anading and David Griggs, Pablo Gallery.

Ronald Ventura. This was up for auction.
Thank goodness I am poor, or else I’d have bought it.

Herman Nitsch, Galerie Zimmermann Katochwill.
(I believe they are Austrian! They had some excellent works up
by Manuel Ocampo, but I forgot to take photos of them. Sadface.)

Jon Santos, Art Informal.

Detail.

Christina Dy, SLab.

BABY SOCKS WE SAW ON THE SIDEWALK!

Phew! I have a lot of favorites that I wasn’t able to get photos of, so I’ll raid my dad’s memory card and see if he has any of them.

A group of artists also had a booth up along one of the sides! They’re trying to raise funds for a group show in Berlin’s Freis Museum. I think their stuff (shirts, and tote bags and pins featuring the works of the artists) is still available in Team Manila outlets. I mean, is this not the best shirt you have seen in your life?

(Slight exaggeration, but this is an awesome shirt.)

Was also able to meet (!) Manuel Ocampo and had one of the prints of his that I had signed. I got it from a McSweeney’s Quarterly Issue, and had been saving it for when I see Manuel Ocampo and beg for him to have it signed. Thankfully, he was really nice and cool about it. Completely the opposite of me.

Manuel Ocampo is a super prolific artist, internationally known, and also, he made the inside art of Beck’s Odelay. I know it’s stupid but I’m considering this meeting as lowering my ‘six degrees of separation’ from Beck to three.

Under the cut are more photos. I wasn’t able to take proper photos of some of the pieces that I loved, but I think this is a mostly fair representation of my favorite pieces. (I wasn’t even able to document all the pieces we had on display, but that’s my fault.)

Enjoy! Here’s to next year’s. :)

Continue reading ManilArt 10….

So, I was thinking of what sort of mix to make for this month’s New Slang theme, and I was thinking of maybe making one on how much some people (i.e. me) suck at intimacy. But that’s another story. (Which I actually wrote! Read: Awkward Only Looks Good On Paulie Bleeker.) This didn’t reach the cut-off deadline, so I’m posting this here.

For all the excuses you’ve ever made, and the persistent tug of the idea of being with somebody you (kinda) like, and the lovely newness of things when you finally give in. About possibility, and saying yes, despite the doubts and the terrifying weight of the past and the probable future.

Under the cut: A list of the sentiments, arranged according to track. I’d like to think the list is some sort of progression, but it’s actually made of wibbly-wobbly, timey wimey stuff, so you can rearrange as you please.

(from John Green’s “An Abundance of Katherines.”)

Download .zip here

Continue reading MIX: The Poem I Might Write Someday…