THANK YOU. // February 26, 2010

Unforeseen hiatus due to the sudden onslaught of requirements our teachers needed to compute our grades. But I digress.

Dearest you,

Whoever you are, if you are reading this, and if you have stood by me, and persevered through all the molehills and mountains with me, these past four years. If we’ve stayed up late nights, exchanging frantic messages, whining about ungodly deadlines. If we’ve celebrated victories, cried over losses and hoped for something greater and more beautiful than we could ever have imagined. If we’ve shared stories and laughter, music and things dear to our hearts. If we’ve given each other a piece of ourselves, and if we’ve kept pieces of each other to make us really, completely whole. If we loved life enough to go on, even if the going got really, really tough—

Thank you.

It’s been a great ride. I’m pretty sure I’m going to miss this, but I’m kind of glad it’s mostly over. The world has been so good to me, and God has blessed me so much. I’m so grateful for everything that has happened, because I got hurt and I loved and I learned.

Thank you so much for believing in me.

Love,
Carina

The indescribable moments of your life tonight
The impossible is possible tonight
Believe in me as I believe in you, tonight

 

Happy Valentine’s Day. // February 14, 2010

made for school two years ago, but still relevant.
I mean it when I say that I hope you are all happy now.

For Valentine’s Day 2010, I have no plans. I really don’t think much of this holiday. I don’t look forward to it (except maybe for the fact that it is Jamie‘s birthday today), and I also don’t really despise it, as some people seem to. Just because you are “alone” on this day, it doesn’t mean you can’t spread the love anymore. There are so many other people you can show your love to. Not just boyfriends or girlfriends or what-have-you.

I showed myself love today, for example, by buying a scarf for myself. I don’t care that the weather is threatening to go to oven-level temperatures, or if people will think I am dumb for wearing a scarf in this heat. I love it, so I bought it:

It’s from Promod, if anyone is wondering.

Tonight, I’m going to show love to my family that I love them by going to dinner with them, instead of being a dork and staying at home, working on schoolwork. In order to do this, I am finishing as much schoolwork as I can before dinner. This practice, I am taking as showing love… to the future of my grades. (!)

Other than this, I am trying to be nicer in general. No more insensitive or overly mean comments out loud (at least I’m hoping). I know that doesn’t really eliminate the negative air and environment in my mind, but it’s a start. I really have been super impatient with people recently, and I think that Valentine’s Day or no, it’s about time that I showed them love in this way—being patient, understanding, non-judgmental—regardless of who they are.

So, those are my two cents. In my whole life, I have only spent one year (out of twenty-one) with somebody, but I’m realizing that being “alone” on Valentine’s Day isn’t really a reason to disregard every other opportunity to express love to other people, even if it’s not the romantic kind.

What about you? Any plans or special insight today?

 

Radical Self Love. // February 7, 2010

For the month of February, I’m going to be joining in on Gala Darling’s Radical Self Love. I am not a “playgirl” and I don’t usually do things like this, but I think it might be good for me. In any case, it’s going to be something for me to do, and if it doesn’t work, then I lose nothing, really. I don’t know why, but I really feel like this will do me a lot of good. Or if not a lot, at least a little bit.

Some anonymous Tumblr reader actually asked me who I blamed for my low self-esteem. I didn’t really think I came off that way, but a complete stranger (at least, I’m assuming s/he is one) seems to think so. I’m not enormously bothered by the comment, but this challenge really seems to be a good idea. So there. I’m embarking on this journey for February. There may or may not be updates, but if things get a little silent around here, it might be because of this. Or it also might be because of the fact that I am scrambling to actually graduate.

In any case, here’s to making most out of the current month. I hope you all enjoy and experience yours in the greatest possible way.

 

 

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