A thing I promised a few days ago but never got around to posting. In case you’re an old reader of this blog, you might remember that I used to make a ton of mixes. In case you’re ancient, you might remember warmest corner, a music blog I had with Petra.

Somehow, I stopped listening to new music and kept recycling the same songs for my mixes and they got a bit tedious and repetitive, so I stopped making them. Anyway, here’s a new one. You can thank One Direction for it. Trust me, they’re responsible for it (and life, and everything).

Here’s the cover art and the track list:

I uploaded it on to Spotify and as a downloadable .zip. Speaking of which, do you guys prefer Spotify/8tracks/some other place for streaming? Let me know.

Listen: Spotify | Download ZIP

A thing that I also used to do a lot was talk about the songs. They were really OTT and dramatic, but I like reading through them now, all these years later, so I figure it’s worth trying to articulate your feelings and thoughts about things and whatnot. Read on if you’re into that kind of stuff, otherwise, enjoy! ♥

— Eyes Shut by Years & Years
All I really want / Is you to understand that I’m a mess
+ ‘Cause I want to be / Bigger than life

I’ve been hearing “Shine” a lot whenever I tune into the Breakfast Show, but I checked the Y&Y page on Spotify and fell in love with this. Apparently, there’s an older, beats-ier version, but I love how quiet this is, even in its bigness, if that makes sense. Anyway, this song comforts me a lot.

— Where Are Ü Now by Jack Ü (Skrillex & Diplo) feat. Justin Bieber
I need you the most

I know. Like, what? Again, I heard this a lot on the Breakfast Show, but I kept listening to it and I fell into a bigger conflicted pit of love for Justin Bieber. Anyway, I don’t care what you say—it’s a great tune. It’s somber but also something you can definitely angst-dance to, lol.

— Hourglass by Catfish and the Bottlemen
And I’ll say I’m sorry if I sound sordid
Cause all I really ever want is you

AGAIN, something I copped from Nick Grimshaw’s radio show. I think this is the last one from the mix! Anyway, this is a fuckkkkkking beautiful song with a really cute and cheeky and sad music video feat. a cute and cheeky and sad Ewan McGregor, and I am so in love with it. This has become my anthem for all of my ships that should be together but aren’t and I keep listening to it because I’m a closeted masochist.

— Learning to Hunt by Guided By Voices
Say that you’ll never run too far away / Even with all the answers out there
Where it’s brighter but no one will care / Half as much as I care about you

Another sad song, I found via Ju who directed me to Matt Berninger’s super sad super true Spotify/Rolling Stones playlist. Ugh, my heart already broke just hearing the song without really understanding what the words were, but looking up the lyrics really tore me up, and I don’t know. I guess I’m sorry this mix is so sad?

— Graceless by The National
There’s a science to walking through windows without you

An old favorite and a staple over the past couple of months. You guys get it. It is what it is. The song is so good, like a reluctant spurt of violence that comes from a deep-seated sadness/displacement, and then it kind of grows into something unapologetic and a little defiant, kind of looking for comfort or like, some sort of understanding.

— Wrecking Force by Voxtrot
Oh you can lose yourself in art / Or you can break somebody’s heart in two

Still my favorite band, I think. This is one of my favorite songs by them, but I think it’s one of their noisier ones. Sometimes, Ramesh’s words are a little hard to make sense of, but they’re beautiful. You know what I mean? It’s a bit like some of the fiction I read. I can’t make sense of it—aka, I’m probably reading it wrong—but I still fall in love with the words.

– Bled White by Elliott Smith
I may not seem quite right / But I’m not fucked, not quite / Bled white

I like this song. It feels a little bit like an F U, yeah I’m screwed up, but leave me alone. I’ll sort myself out, thank you, etc. Which, I’m sure is a thing that we all go through sometimes. The song’s a pretty good “intro” to Elliott Smith, I think.

– When I Needed You by Carly Rae Jepsen
I thought that it was worth it / To let myself just disappear

In hindsight, “Favourite Colour” is probably the better pick for this particular mix, but this was the track that really caught my undivided attention on the first few passes of Emotion, so here we are. Anyway, it’s great. I really, really let myself get into it when the chorus kicks in, which is especially cathartic when you are on the road for so long, you think you might go crazy. ALSO, IT IS VERY EMPOWERING. I love it so much.

Sorry for following up Elliott Smith with Carly Rae Jepsen. I imagine it might be jarring?

– Taxi Cab by Vampire Weekend
Unsentimental / Traveling around / Sure of myself / Sure of it now

I love how this song reads like an actual story. I was listening to a lot of old VW, for some reason, and I really, really enjoyed passing by this song again. This feels like a goodbye or something leading up to it, like a denouement or a prolonged farewell. Or something. I don’t know.

— First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes
You felt as if you’d just woke up

This was a song Shinji posted after the SCotUS ruling on same-sex marriage and this song just made me super emotional, IDEK. I love Conor Oberst’s crackly voice and the soft guitar and just. It’s very sweet and I love this. I think this song’s best listened to via the video, though, so if you get a chance, watch it here.

— Suicide Policeman by Yuck
If your lungs are aching and your tongue still shaking
I could be your suicide policeman

This is such a sweet song, like a blanket to cover your entire being when the world is being shit.

Sorry for the long-ass shitty list-essay. Music writer I am not, but it still feels nice to pause and write about stuff you care about. Thank you for listening. x