Dailies, Lists, Personal
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Life Lately No. 4

OK, so I obviously don’t go out that much. I suspect that a big reason why my skin is so clear is because I stay in my house about 80% of my week. When I’m out for a long time, my skin freaks the frak out. Anyway, I’m going to type random things because I used to do this shit and I miss it.

  • It’s always weird when people talk to me about my beauty blog IRL, esp. when they are people I know from other things like exhibits or gigs. I’m not good with convos in general, but I think that’s one of the most awkward things to bring up, and I don’t even get why I’m still so weirded out by it.
  • Tavi G. followed me on Twitter while I was sleeping, and I had a moment before I remembered that the last thing I tweeted was a screencap of 2010 me finding Jake Cuenca hot (???). My name is still “presidents1D.” I can’t change it back anymore, I don’t think.
  • I went to Karen’s dad’s wake. I don’t think I ever even met him, even though there was a time that I went out with Karen every week practically. Anyway, Karen’s a daddy’s girl. I can’t even begin to imagine. It was nice seeing her after all these months/years, and talking to her even that briefly reminded me of why we are friends. She’s literally the first person that I didn’t feel weird talking about my strange and frankly upsetting One Direction obsession with, in real life. She just smiled and said, “That’s so you, though,” and then she says something like “You’re really meant to be a fan.” And the world just STOPS because I said that a few weeks ago:

    Anyway, my point is. She gets it—this fan thing and a bunch of other things—and now I don’t feel so weird. OK, maybe still a little weird, but mixed in with a little relief.

  • I ended up skipping out on a trip out of Manila for a housewarming because I woke up with the worst headache of my life and I feel like it’s a heat migraine. Do you ever get those? The thought of people sleeping and suffocating in this heat, dying from dehydration and heat, is so sad and frustrating. What can we do about any of it?
  • I learned how to make gifs again (the easier way!) and I made this:
    … I think y’all know why I wanna make gifs, though.
  • I am reading The Giver, for the first time, and my copy is a second-hand book so old, it might be older than me. Some of the corner pages look like they had been bitten by a rat. So. I don’t know what to do. It feels like a waste to throw it out, but some of the words are literally bitten off.

Anyway, so Tumblr. I was looking through all of my posts (not intensely, just watching out for the ones I made a long, long, long time ago) and I kept seeing low qual Photobooth photos of my face, haha. They accompanied bullet points of my day + weird asides, and I realized that it’s probably because I didn’t have photos of everyday really, to go with the stories. I’m not going to do that now, because it’s weird, and I kind of hate myself for doing that, but there you go. Ugh, my Tumblr was so obnoxious, I don’t know why people followed that shit.

I guess I’ll list a bunch of stuff I intend to do today. I used to do this a lot, too, and considering I was a lot more productive then vs. now, it’s worth a shot.

  • Work, please refer to the to-do list you will make right now, after this.
  • Think about what you want to write.
  • Don’t think about what other people will say, do, etc. I think this is the most important and has the most influence over what you end up doing or not doing. Sad as it seems.
  • Stay away from Tumblr. Take yourself out of a situation that will lead you to do nothing, again, instead of what could be a pretty good and productive day.

This makes me feel like a child but I’m going to go crazy if I knowingly spend another day doing nothing, when I fully intended to GET SHIT DONE.

OK, BYE. I wish you all the best x